Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
