while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
