The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
