i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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