What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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