You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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