Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize