I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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