BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize