You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
