I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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