its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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