He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
