Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
