so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
