I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
