If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
