can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Say something about gay babies.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize