Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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