Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
