i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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