I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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