i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
