Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
