my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
