i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
