ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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