Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
this beer tastes like vomit already
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
