Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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