Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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