I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
