I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
