i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
