i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
