can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
