my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
