Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
