Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize