how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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