I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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