So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
