We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
