My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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