I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize