I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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