we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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