I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
