Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
