He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Randomize
