dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
