i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
