some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
