Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
