you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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