Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
