i jhust puked up my retainher.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
