i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
